I remember a therapist telling me that it’s long been accepted in psychology that parents cannot be happy if their children are unhappy and that recently it’s become apparent that children also cannot be happy if their parental caregiver(s) are unhappy. Since their literal survival depends on it children innately want to forge a secure bond with their families so much that they will do everything in their power to create and maintain any sort of bond. When that family’s attention is (by inevitable necessity) focused on/in competition/bonded with trauma instead of the child and the child can sense that emotional unavailability all sorts of difficulties arise
